3 Ways to Use the Power of Yes In Your Life

Thoughts on living with a "yes, and" focus.

I have the word “yes” tattooed on my right forearm. (And the word “and” on my left.) If you know my story, it makes sense. I came out of the improv comedy world. That’s our first rule and mantra

“Yes, and” came into my life a time when I needed some direction. I thought I was learning to be funny, but I was really learning how to best live my life.

Before I tell you more about why saying yes matters, let me tell why saying no is also a good thing.

Living life with a “yes, and” approach doesn’t mean you should never say no.

Actually, it helps you say no to the right things. Many of us need to learn to say no more than we need to learn to say yes. Saying no to opportunities in life is a key component of achieving your life vision. As others have said, to say yes to something often means saying no to something else.

BUT…our lives are ultimately defined by our “yesses.”

Here are three ways to use the power of “yes” in your life:

1. Say yes more at the beginning of things. When something new is afoot, a “yes” attitude is almost always best. A new project, business or relationship is typically going to live or die on the early “yesses” we give it. This works in part because new things, by nature, are more adaptable. Saying yes to a crazy marketing strategy as you launch a side business is way easier than, say, Apple or Microsoft doing it today. In part because there is less to lose, but also because early on you can be nimble enough to pivot away from ideas that aren’t working well.

2. Learn the “15-second yes.” Some of us are automatic “no” kind of people. While this feels like a great strategy to protect ourselves, it also causes us to shut down our ability to engage our imaginations. A great example of this in the workplace is the old-timer in the brainstorming meeting who loves to say, “Won’t work. We’ve tried that before.” While this may seem like a short cut to wisdom, it’s typically myopic and overstated. The “15-second” yes teaches you to say yes to a new idea, just usually not aloud. Just give yourself a few seconds to imagine that this new input might be a good thing. You may still get to no, but at least you gave yes a chance.

3. Learn to wear “yes” lenses as you go through your day. This is really about refusing to lie to yourself about what is actually happen around you. A “yes, and” life helps you avoid denial. We say “no” subconsciously to avoid conflict, thinking it is somehow going to make things easier for us in the long run. But it won’t. Saying yes to ourselves about what is working, what is not working and what we are not sure about yet is key to getting where we want to go. In this way, yes is all about being honest with ourselves.

Things to consider:

Are you at the beginning of a new thing that could benefit greatly by changing your no to a yes?

Is there something in your life that you’ve been saying no to in various ways that deserves a 15-second yes?

Is there something you’re in denial about that needs your attention?