Enneagram Lesson Five - Types 3-2-4
We continue studying the Enneagram by looking at the Heart-Centered Types.
This is lesson five of eight on the Enneagram.
You will want to catch up if you’ve missed any lessons before reading this one.
Here are links to the posts you may have missed:
Today, we will examine the three types in the Heart Center. As a reminder, all three Heart-Centered types approach life through a feeling-first lens. While the Body-Centered types we discussed yesterday all operate from a place of anger, the Heart types operate from a place of shame.
Type 3
Threes focus on their accomplishments to create an image of success for others to see. They tend to over-identify with their work, often only seeing their identity as what they do.
Though they are in the Heart (emotion) center, Threes tend to see emotions as something to overcome on their way to accomplishing success as they define it. Their emotions may surface as anxiety or depression around not accomplishing their goals. They can become very impatient with anyone who is not conforming to the plan to meet the goals that lead to their perceived success.
Threes perform for others in an attempt to release the shame they feel for their own inadequacies. It is generally more important for them to be seen as successful than actually to be successful. In this way, they give their power to define themselves away to the people observing them.
Threes are very productive. They get stuff done. They do it well. Healthy Threes learn to take the journey inward. In a more mature state, they are still productive and successful, but they take the power from others and find a way to live at peace with themselves even when things don’t go as planned.
Their passion is vanity. They live for the approval of others. As a result, they can lose sight of who they really are. They can appear to be different people in different situations to the point where their lives can become primarily deceitful image management — masking their true selves so much that they start to forget who they truly are.
Some have suggested that Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, and Tony Robbins are all examples of Enneagram Threes.
Type 2
Type Twos focus on being helpful to others to gain approval in order to get their own needs met. Often empathic, Twos tend to read people around them and make assumptions about others’ motives based on their own intense feelings. They use cuteness, seduction and parental-like kindness to woo others, but their deepest desire is to be needed to prove to themselves that they are worthy.
Twos like to present as happy and cheerful, even when they are not. They deeply fear rejection so much so that they will go out of their way to win the approval of people they don’t even know or like. While presenting as safe, kind and “sweet,” once Twos feel rejected they can take quick, often instantaneous, emotional shifts to anger, sadness or anxiety.
They are typically energetic, friendly, and upbeat. Ironically, they are often the easiest people to like and be around, but struggle feeling unlikable or unworthy of love on the inside.
At their worst, Twos develop a form of “Messiah Complex” that can lead them into feeling like martyrs who give and give to receive nothing in return. Over time this can lead to depression, apathy and anger.
At their best, they do the inner work to accept themselves so that they no longer have the ever-present need to be liked. They can then use their superpowers of connection, warmth and kindness to help others from a place of wholeness.
The passion of the Two is pride. The pride of the Two is expressed primarily in the need to be needed. They have an unspoken assumption that everyone should need them because they are so kind, safe and selfless. Any rejection for them triggers a pride response unconsciously rooted in their shame - Why would anyone not want me?
Some well-known people who have “Two energy” are are Mr. Rogers, Dolly Parton and Desmond Tutu.
Type 4
Fours focus on their own feelings as their source of truth. They are primarily concerned with “being true to themselves.” This can lead to appearing individualistic and unique, even somewhat odd, to others — something they take as a badge of honor.
Fours are idealistic. They avoid situations that feel less than true to them. Living in a world that never quite aligns with their idealistic sense of truth can create a deep sense of sadness or melancholy in them. Some fours enjoy this inner darkness and are content to “sit in it.”
Many Fours are deeply creative and artistic. They find ways to express their individuality through their work, associations, and fashion.
Fours will work harder than anyone when they are passionate about something and believe in it. Once that belief fades, they find “meaningless” work nearly impossible to do for more than a short amount of time.
They are typically deeply aware of their own inadequacies and shame. They seek outside idealized experiences and relationships to fill the void, often being let down.
At their worst, Fours can so overly idealized everything that they become moody, apathetic, and paralyzed. At their best, Fours are creative, light-giving forces of nature able to access their deep truths in ways to help others.
The passion of the Four is envy. So aware of their own incompleteness, they seek meaning outside of themselves only to be let down. This creates a deep jealousy in them for others who, from their perspective, seem to have found that elusive, fully true experience that avoids them.
Fours can often present similarly to Sevens, a type we will discuss tomorrow. Some famous people with FOUR energy are Johnny Depp, Bob Dylan and Billie Eilish.
This concludes our look at the Heart-Centered types.
For now, just focus on asking yourself if any of the six types we’ve discussed over the last two lessons feel like you. We will finish our overview of the nine types Friday by looking at the Head-Centered types.
I will be off tomorrow for the 4th of July here in the U.S.
See ya Friday!