Exercise 2: Naming Your Big Story
Called for Adventure: 12 Exercises to Discover and Live Your Life’s Calling
Exercise 2: Naming Your Big Story
(Called for Adventure: 12 Exercises to Discover and Live Your Life’s Calling)
This is part of a 12-exercise journey to help you discover and live your life’s calling. Each exercise builds on the last, but they’re designed so you can jump in at any point.
If you missed the first exercise, start here. In Exercise 1, we committed to the process by grabbing a journal and naming what we want in the next five weeks.
The Metanarrative You’ve Been Living In
Every one of us lives inside a metanarrative—a big story that gives shape and meaning to our lives.
Your metanarrative is the broad, often unspoken framework that answers questions like:
What matters most?
Who am I supposed to be?
What does a “good life” look like?
How does the world work?
Most of us don’t consciously choose our metanarrative.
We inherit it.
It comes from family, faith, culture, politics, or the communities we grow up in. It shapes what we value, how we see ourselves, and what paths we pursue.
For simplicity, throughout this exercise, I’ll call this your “big story.”
The Stories We Inherit… and Outgrow
Almost all of us inherit a big story that gives structure to our early lives. But at some point—usually between ages 18 and 30—we push back on that story. It’s almost universal.
For some, that pushback looks like rebellion. You question, doubt, wander off. Eventually, you may circle back—but at a different level. You might embrace that story more deeply, or hold it more loosely, seeing its value without letting it define everything.
Others make a more decisive break. You change religions, adopt a new worldview, switch political affiliations, or shift into an entirely different cultural or philosophical framework.
And for most of us, the truth is somewhere in between. We’ve carried some of the old story, embraced some new ideas, and left a whole bunch of things in the “unsure” or “I just don’t think about it anymore” category.
None of this is bad. In fact, it’s only a problem if you ignore it.
If you never take the time to consciously work through it, those background narratives quietly steer your life.
This exercise is about naming and reordering—seeing where you came from, where you are now, and what parts of your story you want to keep, evolve, or release.
Your Work
Open your journal to a fresh page and write:
“My Big Story (Order → Disorder → Reorder)”
Then work through these prompts in three stages. Write each question in your journal and answer it. Don’t overthink it. Just write what feels true to you.
1. Your First Big Story (Order)
Reflect on the story you inherited growing up. What did it tell you about:
What matters most in life?
Who you are and who you should be?
What “success” or “a good life” looks like?
What “failure” or “being wrong” looks like?
How the world works—Who is really in charge? Who holds the power? Who is worthy of ultimate respect?
2. Your Season of Pushback (Disorder)
Now think about your late teens to early adulthood (or any key season of deep questioning).
What parts of your first story did you push back on or reject?
When did this begin, and what triggered it?
Did you see it as rebellion, growth, confusion, or something else?
Which elements of that story stopped fitting for you?
How honest where you with your new ideas?
Almost everyone has this stage. Be honest about yours.
3. Where You Are Now (Reorder)
Now, look at your life today.
Which parts of your original story are still central for you?
Which have evolved or taken on new meaning?
Have you adopted a “second big story”—a new worldview, faith, cultural lens, or framework? If yes, what is it? If no, why not?
What areas feel unresolved or simply not thought about? What work is left to do to know what your big story really is today?
Give this current mix of answers a short phrase or working title. It might sound like:
“Still Christian, but in a different way”
“Work hard, but for different reasons now”
“Spiritual but not religious”
“Still figuring it out”
“A true liberal with conservative roots”
“Finding meaning in my ancient traditions”
There’s no right answer here. This is about naming reality, not fixing it.
Naming it doesn’t mean you’ve finished your journey. It just gives you a way to say where you are today. Tomorrow, you might be somewhere new.
A Final Thought
We often treat changes to our big story as failure, rebellion, or something to hide. It’s not. It’s the natural arc of growth.
The key is to stop drifting through those shifts and bring them into the light. When you name your story—and where you are in it—you start to gain the power to shape what comes next.
Personal Note
Some of you know that my first big story was growing up as an evangelical church kid who became a successful pastor.
But over time, I started asking questions. My story shifted. Some parts of that original narrative are still with me, and others aren’t. For example, I still consider myself a Christian—but not a conservative or evangelical one.
If your big story is rooted in faith and you find yourself questioning, re-evaluating, or simply needing a safe place to process, I have a whole other Substack for that called Deconstructed Pastor.
Here’s a link to my full story over there. It may help some of you. And it may not relate at all to others—so just ignore it. :)
Why I Am Giving Away My Best Content For Free
In this series, I’m giving away my very best content—the same material I use in paid workshops and coaching. These exercises work. They’re the culmination of my life’s work and experience, and I’m offering them to you for free because I want you to find your calling.
That said, I also want to be honest: I have real financial needs. This work takes time and energy, and part of how I support myself is through the generosity of this community.
If you’re able, I’d ask you to consider supporting my work financially—either by becoming a paid subscriber or giving what feels right to you on Venmo. My gamble is simple: that you’ll see the value in what I’m sharing and choose to support it.
And if you can’t afford to, don’t apologize. I genuinely want anyone who needs this process to have full access.
Exercise 3 will be in your inbox on Friday. We’ll turn from your past to your present by digging into your origin story—the experiences that shaped who you are today.
Dang. These are some great, thought-provoking questions! My journal is already filling up. :)
That was cool. Thanks, Joe!