Stop being offended!

It's a choice.

I waited a few days to approach the subject of the Olympic opening ceremonies event that offended a ton of American Christians.

They thought they saw a mockery of Jesus/God in something that, in retrospect, was inspired by the Greek gods for whom the Olympics originated in the first place.

I have very little desire to litigate it further. A Google search about what it really was meant to be can get you the information you need. (And, even if it was that, my points below remain the same.)

What I want to discuss is the idea of being personally offended, particularly by things that have nothing to do with you.

I believe being offended is a choice.

We can train ourselves when and when not to be offended.

Are there times to be personally offended?

Perhaps.

Though I must confess, the older I get, the less sure I am of this.

Sure, taking personal offense can allow you access to fueling anger, self-righteousness, and a passion for revenge. It certainly gives you energy and focus. I just can’t help but wonder if there are better ways to access the energy we need to bring more love and justice into the world.

A particularly ironic confession before we move forward:

I still self-identify as a Christian, albeit a quite theologically liberal one. I no longer identify as Evangelical and haven’t for years. I do my best to not try to impress my faith on you here. I appreciate that our community is made up of people of all faiths and no faith.

But on this particular issue, I should say that I am profoundly influenced by the teachings attributed to Jesus in the gospels.

Particularly the following:

• If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn to him the other also

• Love your enemies

• Pray for those who persecute you

• Do good to those who hate you and mock you

• Take the plank out of your own eye before removing the splinter from your brother’s eye

Some of you armchair theologians are gonna quote the one verse at me where Jesus says to buy a sword. You do you. It’s a weird verse. I’m going to stick with the general themes of the teachings we have attributed to him.

So, here is how to not be offended:

1. Realize it’s almost never about you at all. The Olympic event was a perfect example of this. Western Christians saw what they wanted to see. It’s a myopic approach to life. It’s at best uneducated; and at worst self-absorbed. Take a minute and ask yourself, “is this even meant for me at all?”

2. Realize most everyone has been hurt by someone like you. Is it fair to paint with a broad brush? Not really. Do we all do it? Yes. Something about you is going to remind others of someone or something that hurt them. It’s not about you. It’s about their pain. A little imaginative empathy goes a long way.

3. As my Appalachian dad would say, they “just want to get your goat.” His point was that some people just enjoy upsetting others. In truth, that’s a miserable and exhausting way to live a life. Brush it off. As the aforementioned rabbi would say, “shake the dust off your sandals.”

4. Accept that you are, in fact, offensive to others. You aren’t all that. You have some unflattering personality quirks and beliefs that hurt others. I know it’s hard to see them, but they are there. Have some grace for others, knowing you have work to do on yourself.

5. Use one-off situations as an opportunity to practice the art of forgiveness. It’s hard to forgive those you love who have legitimately hurt you. It’s even harder to forgive yourself. By comparison, it’s pretty easy to forgive a stranger. So use it as practice to flex your forgiveness muscle. You’re gonna need it someday soon.

6. Life is just too freaking short, man. It just is. Let’s focus on love and peace. This is not some woo-woo hippie shit I’m trying to get you to believe. It’s just basic self-maintenance. The most selfish thing you can do is love and forgive people when they try to offend you. It frees you. Life is better not letting those whom you don’t even know control your feelings. Let it go! (That last sentence was from Elsa, not Jesus.)

Sorry I preached at you today.

Old habits die hard.

And, sorry if I offended you.

(Kind of.)