Control What You Can (and Stop Trying to Control the Rest)
My last few days have been a series of small frustrations—the kind of stuff that happens to everyone, but usually not all in the same week.
A miscommunication with a client.
A head cold that made presenting at a retreat harder than it needed to be.
My iPhone breaking.
My HVAC leaking.
Losing my credit card.
You get the picture.
The result? A few moments of self-pity, some frustration, and a kind of low-grade sadness that sits just under the surface.
And when you’re wired like me, that’s where the danger is.
Because if you’re not careful, small frustrations can stack up into a story:
“Nothing is going right. Maybe I can’t handle this. Maybe I’m the problem.”
That’s how we spiral.
What You Do Control
One of the best ways to stop the spiral is to ground yourself in what’s actually in your hands:
Your words. Every single one.
Your thoughts. Where you let your mind live.
Your reactions. Tone, timing, and how you respond.
Your gratitude. Whether or not you say “thank you.”
Your curiosity. What you choose to learn next.
Your kindness. How much empathy you show when others fail.
Your purpose. The story you’re writing with your life.
What You’ll Never Control
The flip side is releasing what was never yours to carry:
How other people react.
Who decides to like, love, respect, or ignore you.
The choices your kids, friends, or partner make.
The random dangers of the world.
The outcomes of things you don’t own.
Trying to hold this list is like trying to hold water in your hands. It leaks out and leaves you empty.
Take a Breath
When life piles on, the most powerful thing you can do is stop and breathe.
Remind yourself: I don’t have to control everything. I just have to control what’s mine.
Say one kind word.
Choose one grateful thought.
Take one step toward the story you want to live.
That’s enough to break the spiral.
That’s enough to reset your day.
Sometimes mental health isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about choosing one controllable thing in this moment—then taking a breath and letting the rest go.
I’m breathing..
Very wise!