The 5 Things You Will Regret on Your Death Bed
This is an overview of Bronnie Ware’s book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. She spent years sitting with people in their final weeks. And what she heard were five core regret over and over.
The 5 Biggest Regrets of the Dying
(And how to live a different story while you still can)
If you haven’t read Bronnie Ware’s book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, I recommend it.
She spent years working in palliative care, sitting with people in their final weeks. Listening. Holding space. Witnessing what really matters when the clock’s almost out.
And what she heard—over and over again—were five core regrets that surfaced for nearly everyone.
They’re simple.
They’re haunting.
And they are completely avoidable—if we’re willing to stop lying to ourselves now.
Let’s walk through them—one by one—with a little commentary from me along the way.
1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
This was the big one. The most common regret. The universal ache.
Not being true to yourself.
Think about that. People are dying with dreams still buried inside them. Not because they didn’t want it badly enough. But because they were too busy being what someone else needed them to be.
Parents. Teachers. Pastors. Bosses. Partners. All well-intentioned (hopefully). But none of them can live your story for you.
It’s a choice you can make today. Critics will always be around. You won’t be. You have one life. Be you.
2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
Bronnie says every man she cared for said this. Some women too. But the men? Across the board.
They missed their kids’ childhoods. Their partner’s companionship. The actual living part of life.
Work is a part of life. It can even be meaningful.
But it will never love you back.
And when you’re gone, they’ll replace you. Quickly.
Meanwhile, your people? They’ll remember the moments you were present. And the moments you weren’t.
You get one story. Don’t give all your best chapters to your job.
3. “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”
How many of us were raised to be agreeable? To not cause conflict? To keep the peace?
It sounds noble. But it can cost you your life.
People suppress their truth so they don’t rock the boat. But over time, the unspoken becomes a wall. And that wall keeps you from being seen, known, loved.
Speak your truth—kindly, clearly, bravely. Yes, some people might walk away. But as Bronnie says, “Either way, you win.”
Because your life isn’t supposed to be about comfort.
It’s supposed to be about connection.
And connection can’t happen without honesty.
4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
This one hurts. Because we don’t mean to lose track of people.
But time passes. Life gets busy. And suddenly it’s been years.
Bronnie says people didn’t realize how much their friendships meant to them until it was too late. They waited until they were dying to want reconnection—but often didn’t have the strength to find it.
Friendships matter more than productivity.
More than success. More than status.
Don’t just text your people. Show up. Send the weird meme. Schedule the dinner. Fly across the country if you have to.
Because when the end comes, love and relationships are all that matter.
5. “I wish I had let myself be happier.”
You’d think this would be obvious. But it’s not.
People get stuck in patterns. In survival mode. In seriousness. They forget how to laugh. How to play. How to be free.
Happiness feels selfish. Or unrealistic. Or shallow.
But it’s not.
Joy is not a luxury.
And you don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove anything first. You don’t have to fix everything first. You don’t have to reach some magical point of spiritual enlightenment.
The regret here isn’t that people weren’t happy.
It’s that they wouldn’t let themselves be happy.
They refused to embrace the happiness right in front of them.
You can let yourself be happy.
Today.
Right now.
One Final Thought
These regrets aren’t meant to make you feel guilty.
They’re meant to wake you up.
Because you still have time.
You can live a life true to yourself.
You can trade hustle for presence.
You can say what you really feel.
You can call your old friend.
You can laugh more.
You can choose.
Life is a choice.
It is your life.
Choose consciously.
Choose honestly.
Choose joy.
#NoRagrets :)
#NoRagrets First of all, thank you! I love this read so hard! The one that speaks to me the most is #5 and in my mind, I would add the words, "rest in joy" because I believe it's a default state of being, a place of peace and gratitude that can have a range of energy involved.