The Enneagram Part 1: The Deep Desire That Drives You

Part 1 of a 5 part series this week. Discover the hidden desire that quietly drives your decisions—and how the Enneagram can help you grow from it.

Part 1: What You Really Want (And Why It Matters)

Pick the one statement that feels the most like you. Don’t overthink it—just go with your gut:

• I want to be right.

• I want to be needed or helpful.

• I want to be successful (to win).

• I want to be true to myself.

• I want to be smart or wise.

• I want to be safe and loyal.

• I want to be free.

• I want to be powerful and respected.

• I want to be at peace with others and myself.

Got one?

Good. You’ve just taken your first step into understanding the Enneagram.

That core desire you picked? It didn’t come out of nowhere. Somewhere along the way—usually in childhood—you figured out that wanting that thing helped you survive. It became a lens, a strategy. And it worked. Until it didn’t.

These core desires aren’t wrong. But they’re incomplete. Each one comes bundled with a shadow—what the Enneagram traditionally calls a vice:

• Want to be right → Anger

• Want to be needed → Pride

• Want to succeed → Deceit

• Want to be authentic → Envy

• Want to be wise → Greed

• Want to feel safe → Fear

• Want to be free → Gluttony

• Want to be powerful → Lust

• Want to be at peace → Laziness

This is the Enneagram in a nutshell: nine ways of being in the world, each shaped by a deep longing and a core struggle.

I’ve used this tool for over 20 years—personally, in coaching, and in spiritual formation groups. I’m not credentialed by any official Enneagram school, but I’ve been in it long enough to know where it’s useful, where it’s broken, and where it can help people change.

And that’s the goal here: not just to understand yourself, but to grow.

Wait… What Even Is the Enneagram?

The word Enneagram just means “drawing of nine.” That weird-looking diagram with lines and numbers? That’s it. It’s a circle with nine points, each representing a distinct way of moving through the world.

It looks strange, I know. But hang with me.

No, it’s not a personality pentagram or a cult diagram—it’s just a map of human motivation. And it’s helped a lot of people (myself included) figure out why we do what we do… and how we can grow.

A Few Ground Rules Before We Go Deeper

• This isn’t a personality test. The Enneagram is about motivation, not behavior. It asks why you do what you do, especially when you're stressed, ashamed, or trying to prove something.

• It expects you to evolve. Unlike other typing systems, the Enneagram isn’t static. Your core type doesn’t change, but you’re meant to grow through it, using its insights to become more whole, more integrated, and more free.

• It’s not about other people. Please don’t use this to diagnose your spouse or coworkers. This journey is for you. Let it shape your awareness, not your arguments.

• Typing is a process. Most online Enneagram quizzes are sketchy. You might mistype yourself at first—I did. I lived as a “4” for over a decade before realizing I was a 7 with a very different personality than most other 7s. Go slow. Be curious.

• Models are useful, not perfect. The great statistician George E.P. Box said, “All models are wrong, but some are useful.” That’s the Enneagram. It’s not science. It’s not sacred. But it can help you grow if you use it with honesty and grace.

Where Did This Thing Come From?

The modern Enneagram chart comes from Oscar Ichazo’s work in the 1960s, but its roots trace back to Sufi mysticism, early Christian and Jewish contemplative traditions, Buddhism, and Greek philosophy.

Some people love debating the historical origins, but for our purposes, I’m focused on how it can actually help you grow today.

Quick Vocabulary to Know

• Type: Your core orientation toward the world. There are nine. You’ll hear people say things like, “I’m a 7” or “She’s a 1.”

• Wings: The numbers next to yours on the circle. A 3 could be a 3w2 or 3w4. These shape how your type shows up in real life.

• Subtypes (a.k.a. Instincts): There are three: Self-preservation, Social, and One-to-One. These instincts can dramatically change how your type looks and behaves. I’ll mostly refer to them as instincts moving forward—because that language feels more human and accurate to me.

• Centers: Types are grouped into three centers of intelligence:

  • Gut (8-9-1)

  • Heart (2-3-4)

  • Head (5-6-7)

• Lines (or Arrows): Each type connects to two others. These represent movement under stress and growth—or simply different energies you can tap into at different times.

That’s enough for today.

Tomorrow, we’ll look at the Centers—your default mode for processing life—and how that can give you a clearer window into your type.

Let’s go.

—Joe (7w6, self-preservation)

P.S. More than most series I do, this one builds. By the end of the week, you won’t be an Enneagram expert—but you will have a solid understanding of the tool and whether it’s something you want to go deeper with.

Also—for this week only—I’ve lowered the cost of my 1:1 Consulting Subscription level to include a Zoom session with me to talk through either your Enneagram journey or your personal Call to Adventure.

You can adjust your subscription here.

(Oh—and if you're already a member at that level, formerly called a Founding Member, and you’d like a second Zoom or follow-up session, just let me know. We can absolutely do that.)