The Three Stories That Determine Every Decision You Make
There are three core stories running in the background of your life. They're shaping how you walk into rooms, how you react under pressure, and why you say yes or no to the things you do.
You don’t make decisions based on logic.
You make them based on story.
Not just the story you tell others—but the story you’re telling yourself.
And whether you realize it or not, there are three core stories running in the background of your life. They're shaping how you walk into rooms, how you react under pressure, and why you say yes or no to the things you do.
Change these stories, and you change your life.
1. Your Origin Story
Where you think you came from determines how you act and enter every room.
Not just your birthplace or your childhood—but the story you carry about it.
Were you raised to prove yourself?
Did you grow up invisible?
Were you told you were special, or a burden, or broken, or chosen?
Your origin story is the lens you bring into every interaction.
It shapes your confidence. Your fear. Your sense of belonging.
It decides whether you walk into a room like a guest… or with beaming confidence.
And most people are still living out a version of their origin story that was handed to them—not one they’ve examined or rewritten.
2. Your Vision Story
Where you believe your story is going determines what you do—and what you don’t.
Every decision is a bet on the future.
And most people are walking around without a clear picture of what that future even looks like.
No wonder it’s hard to commit.
To focus.
To say no.
If your vision story is fuzzy or absent, you’ll chase everything—or nothing.
But when you know where your story is headed?
Every yes becomes lighter.
Every no makes more sense.
This is the story that determines your calendar, your energy, your goals.
If your future has no clear story, your present will have no direction.
3. Your Big Story
The story you believe about “everything” determines who you trust—and how you live.
Call it your worldview. Or your meta-narrative. Or your philosophy, core beliefs or operating system.
This is the story under all your other stories.
Is the universe on your side—or out to get you?
Are people good, evil, or just chaotic?
Is the world heading toward meaning… or decay?
Are you part of something bigger—or completely on your own?
Your Big Story explains what matters and what doesn’t.
It decides who you follow. Who you ignore. What you’re willing to risk—and why.
And here's the twist: most of us didn’t choose our Big Story.
We absorbed it early on before we even knew who we were.
But you can choose to examine it.
And if necessary, upgrade it.
But Can I Really Change My Story?
Yep.
Even your origin story.
You might be thinking: But that’s where I came from. I can’t change it.
True—you can’t change what happened.
But here’s the twist: your origin story is already an edited story.
It’s not pure fact. It’s a simplified narrative.
A shorthand version of I was this way, then stuff happened, now I’m this way.
Which means you already chose one version of it.
You can choose a different one.
We all have multiple origin stories to draw from.
You get to pick the one that helps you walk into the room as the person you actually are—not the version someone else reduced you to.
And your vision story?
Yes, that one’s totally changeable.
The easiest way to start?
Write it.
Literally.
Sit down and imagine it’s 3, 5, or 10 years from now—and your life is great.
What happened?
What changed?
What decisions did you make?
That’s your vision.
Now you’ve got something to say yes and no to.
And your Big Story—the one about everything?
Your meta-narrative?
Yeah. That’s a tougher one.
But it can shift too.
You don’t have to believe what your parents believed.
You don’t have to keep clinging to what you decided in college.
You can question it. Rework it. Let it evolve.
It’ll feel disorienting at first.
That’s normal.
But what you get in return is wisdom.
And humility.
And freedom.
Because if you realize your inherited Big Story isn’t working—and you start to rewrite it?
That’s when your real adventure begins.
That’s when you get to meet the you you’ve always been becoming.
This describes where I find myself right now. Seemingly through a different polished lens. Looking back... Connecting so many dots... Seeing things for the first time again! 🙏🤔